A/N – Yay! Most people seemed to like my Barney idea,
I should mention at this point that Luca, my demonic muse, created the
character of Lucas the incredibly good looking elf – although it
was my idea to give Vegeta an imaginary friend.
Bulma put her ear to the door and listened…was Vegeta
talking to himself again? Ever since she’d made the Barney threat yesterday she
kept hearing him muttering to himself.
“…And she keeps torturing me with that horrible
video!”
Bulma chuckled as Vegeta’s voice took on an anguished
note, she quickly stopped laughing though, it couldn’t be healthy for Vegeta to
be talking to himself.
She stood up and unlocked the door, she peeked
through, Vegeta was sitting on his chair as usual, he was staring at the space
in front of him as though somebody was standing there.
Bulma raised her eyebrows and shrugged as she pushed
the door open the rest of the way and walked into the main room.
“’Geta…”
“Don’t call me ‘Geta!”
“Who are you talking to?” Bulma glanced about the room
nervously.
“I was talking to…nobody. You must be hearing things,
bah, paranoid woman.” Vegeta stood up and stretched.
“Are you sure?” Bulma glanced about, “I mean if
something’s wrong you can tell me.”
“Wrong? Wrong? What could possibly be wrong?” Vegeta
glared at her, “I’m stuck on a ship, in heat, in space, with no control over
the ships movements, with a woman who hates me, gee what could possibly be wrong?”
“’Geta…”
“Don’t call me ‘Geta!”
“I’m getting worried about you.” Bulma came closer to
him, “Please, who were you talking to?”
Vegeta sighed, “I was talking to Lucas the incredibly
good looking elf.”
Bulma stared at him, blinked, then resumed staring,
“Right, I think I’m hearing things could you repeat that?”
“I said I was talking to Lucas the incredibly good
looking elf, he says he’s a delusion my mind created to keep me sane but I
think he’s really here to steal you from me.” Vegeta crept closer to Bulma,
“He’s probably here right now, listening to us talk…he’s a sneaky one that
Lucas, very crafty.”
“Oh…I bet.” Bulma wondered if she could make it back
to the bedroom before Vegeta could grab her, obviously he’d finally blown a
wire.
Vegeta moved even closer to her, “Are you scared? I
can hold you to my manly chest if you are?”
”Vegeta! Did you just try to seduce me?” Bulma stepped away from him,
Vegeta looked right and then left then lent in close,
“I didn’t say that…Lucas the incredibly good looking elf said that – don’t you
see him? He’s standing right next to you?”
“Oh…yes…I can see him.” Bulma very gently took hold of
Vegeta’s arm, “Vegeta, now Barney once had a similar problem to you…”
“I don’t want to hear about Barney!” Vegeta yelled,
“Vegeta!” Bulma felt her temper rising.
“It wasn’t me…it was Lucas! Lucas I tell you!” Vegeta
looked wildly around, “AAAAAH! He’s trying to get into my ears!”
“Vegeta! Barney got lonely once and created an
imaginary friend…that’s what your doing.” Bulma continued to speak, ignoring
Vegeta as he rolled around on the floor beating at his head screaming for Lucas
to get out, “But in the end Barney discovered that as long as he had friends…oh
wait, you don’t have friends do you Vegeta?”
Vegeta continued to scream.
“Then again you do have me...Oh! I can’t take this
noise!” Bulma got down on her hands and knee’s and grabbed Vegeta’s head,
“LUCAS!
Vegeta stared up, shocked, “Hey…you did it…Lucas is
gone!”
“How un-expected.” Bulma dryly muttered as she got
back up,
“Bulma?” vegeta sat up and pulled her back down into
his lap, “I’m really sorry to have to do this…and I know it’s going to earn me
a lot of Barney and friends time, but I have to kiss you.”
And with that Vegeta tipped Bulma’s face back, gazed
down into her azure eyes and very gently lowered his lips to Bulma’s and
bestowed upon her a soft and almost loving kiss.
Bulma stared back into Vegeta’s eyes, dumbstruck at
the emotional depth of the kiss he was bestowing upon her, it was nothing like
she had expected. She’d expected fire and passion but this was soft and gentle.
“Mmmm!” Bulma mumbled against Vegeta’s lips and
managed to drag herself away from his kiss, “I can’t do this…”
“It’s just a kiss…” Vegeta lent down again but Bulma
detangled herself from his grasp and moved away,
“No! It’s not just a kiss, kissing is fine and nice
but when you kiss like that it always leads to bigger things and I am not going
to sleep with the man who threatened to kill me on Namek!”
Vegeta jumped to his feet, “I wouldn’t have actually
hurt you…much.”
“Puh! Liar! I know a liar when I see one!” Bulma shied
away when Vegeta took a step towards her, “No! You stay back! I don’t know where
you learnt to kiss like that but it’s not fair to me! I can resist nasty
bastards who kiss like they want to drink you up, but I can’t resist dark and
handsome men who kiss like they love you! It’s just not fair on women!
Especially when you don’t love me, Vegeta, and never will.” Bulma gave him a
warning glance when he started to speak, “I already said not to bother
defending yourself, you surprised me with that kiss and even though I’m freely
admitting it was wonderful and nice I am still not going to jump into bed with
you!”
“But Bulma!”
“Don’t you ‘but Bulma’ me! I know your in heat and I
know it’s getting worse but you’ll just have to learn to control yourself!”
Bulma turned and flounced back to the bedroom shutting the door, Vegeta heard
her moving around inside and guessed what she was doing, “5 hours of Barney
Vegeta! 5 hours of childish tunes and ridiculous moral tales for trying to
seduce me!”
Vegeta groaned to himself and sunk down on the floor
as the now all too familiar tune of Barney started up.
“She’s so cruel to you Vegeta, you know what you
should do is go in there now and smash the television to bits.” Lucas the
incredibly good-looking elf appeared and flashed his usual perfect smile.
“Go away Lucas the incredibly good looking elf, do you
think I’d be so dumb as to trust you after you tried to crawl in my ears and
eat my brains!” Vegeta scoffed and walked away from him, “Besides I know you’re
just after Bulma!”
Lucas the incredibly good looking elf laughed,
“Oh that…I wasn’t trying to hurt you, that was just a warning to you not to try
to tell Bulma about me again, humans have this silly notion that if you see an
incredibly good looking elf while your alone with a woman on a space ship over
which you have no control and are in a saiyan heat, that seeing an incredibly
good looking elf is bad for you, but we know that isn’t true, right Vegeta old
buddy old pal? Just go on into her room and smash the television.”
Vegeta took a few steps towards Bulma’s door, “Ok,
I’ll get rid of the television but…well…are you sure this is a good idea?”
“Of course it is!” Lucas the incredibly good
looking elf laughed eerily as he faded away.
“Right.” Vegeta grinned crazily, “It’s TV smashing
time!”
Vegeta pranced up to the door and put his ear against
it, trying to hear where the woman was through the melodious strains of ‘I love
you, you love me…”
“Woman?” He crooned into the door, “Let me in, I want
to apologise for my…behaviour earlier.”
He lent even closer to the door and narrowed his eyes
and he tried to discern wether or not Bulma had heard him.
Vegeta shrugged and decided to try again, “Woman?” He
took a deep breath, “LET ME IN OR I’LL BLAST THIS DOOR DOWN RIGHT THIS
MINUTE!!” He raised his voice to several decibels above what’s considered
polite and waited for Bulma to open the door.
Barney and Co. shut off and an eerie silence emanated
from the bedroom, there was silence for a moment, then small unidentifiable
sounds came form the bedroom for several minutes, then there was silence once
more, Vegeta, suddenly uneasy, stepped away from the door as he heard Bulma’s
soft footfalls coming towards him.
He heard the bedroom door unlock, saw the handle on
the door twist ever so slowly, then the bedroom door swung open with a kind of
finality that Vegeta found unnerving and almost frightening.
No one stood in the doorway; it stared at him like the
big empty black hole it was, daring him to approach at his peril.
Vegeta took one step, two steps, three steps towards
it, his eyes flicking from left to right as he sensed a trap. He reached the
doorway and paused his sleekly muscled body on edge as he waited for Bulma to
spring her trap…
Nothing happened.
Vegeta shrugged, “Guess I was over re-acting.” And
took a step forward…
He heard Bulma’s cackling laugh a moment to late to
halt himself and his foot was suddenly entangled in a pile of unwound dental
floss. Vegeta let out an almost girlish shriek as he toppled over, landing
badly on his face. He closed his eyes and wondered why he felt the sensation of
moving.
Once again Vegeta opened his eyes to late to avoid
disaster.
His Coal black eyes widened in fear as he realised
Bulma had coated the floor in shampoo and because of the force of his fall he
was now sliding towards the shower at a speed man had only dreamt of.
“Oh &*#%!!!!!” Vegeta muttered as he rammed into
the shower, his head slamming into the tiles with enough impact to shake the
whole ship.
The woman’s foot appeared next to his face as she
stood above him, he heard her fiddling around above his head then with a laugh
she turned the cold water on and bounced happily out of the shower.
“I warned you not to mess with me, Mr. Prince of all
saiyans!” Bulma laughed, pleased with herself as she shut the shower door, “You
stay in there till you cool off!”
A/N – I’m sorry about the lame last line…but I
couldn’t resist! *Giggles* Damn, this chapter turned out better then I had
hoped! Well please review (you all know how much I love reviews!) and I shall
update soon!
Next Chapter: The battle of the Gravity Machine!
|
|
|